Revisiting a time when I was an old country lady with sass!

My 7 or 8 year old self with my first cat, Cash Mittens.

Two nights ago, my sister ran downstairs saying, "Hey!  You sound just like that girl!  That girl from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!  The one who said shittin' bricks."  Which for anyone who is not familiar with (can't remember) that film, Chevy Chase invites his entire family for Christmas and then there's 3 million twinkling lights he wants to put up on the house.  Randy Quaid plays the trashiest, countriest character of the brother in law, Eddie.  Eddie's daughter is Ruby Sue.  A girl who sounds about as country as you can get.  Apparently I sounded like Ruby Sue on this video.

Needless to say, I had to see this.  So, I go upstairs & we start it over.  We had just gotten our video camera and my mother is filming the entire den.  You can hear my seven year old self from the kitchen, desperately wanting to open gifts.  

"Oh, but you have to sing Happy Birthday!"  

(long pause of silence)

"WHO WE SANGIN' TO?!?!"

"Jesus!", said my irritated mother.  This ultra Christian, singing to Jesus was a new thing in our house, because my mother is a mimic.  She needed to mimic her newest gal pal at the time.

When she finally gives the go ahead I can be heard exclaiming with a loud and very excited, "WAHOOOO!!!!"

Then the camera is pointed at the entrance from the kitchen.  My much younger and fluffier headed father is stumbling like a zombie into the den.  Then all of a sudden, he lurches forward, appears confused, and in his action to look behind him, you see my seven year old self physically push him from behind and you can hear me say, "GET OUTTA MYYYY WAAAY!!!"

Later my dad asks why I put down a gift and without looking up I say, "Don't ask me that."

My thirty two year old self is slightly horrified that I was so rude to my dad.  But 1987 dad doesn't care.  I personally wouldn't have scolded my seven year old self either, because it was freaking hilarious and cute.

It's like someone took the very country voice and utter sass of Joy from the telly show My Name is Earl, mixed it with the authority and spunk of Granny from the 60's telly show The Beverly Hillbillies and threw that into a seven year old girl's spirit.

I can also later be heard saying, "Dontchy'all thank it's odd that we're all sittin by a dead tree in our livin' room eatin' candy outta err socks!"

I think what's oddest of all is that my mother... well my mother, on video, is channeling Baby Jane or something, but her diction and elocution were always spectacular.  My father just sounds rather normal.  Yet, they have a seven year old Joy/Granny daughter & a thirteen year old daughter who sounds like Elvis.  My sister and I are unsure just how that came about.

And since there was Christmas spent at my maternal grandmothers house and my paternal grandparents house, we were able to hear everyone.  

My maternal grandmother spoke with grace and distinction.  We just didn't remember her voice being as deep as it was.  Since her death, we'd imagined it lighter and airier.  Her hair is in it's usual French Twist.  Then when she opens her gift of a baseball cap sporting something to do with Ohio, she immediately puts it on.  My grandmother doesn't understand baseball caps, but she does understand a jaunty cap from the 1920's.  She sets it atop her coif and angles it to the side, primps it and I can see my 18 year old grandmother in front of the mirror getting ready to go out.  

My beautiful, beautiful aunt with her half moon eyes waves to the camera and says, "Hi y'all!"  It's an odd mix of southern, French and Arabic that makes up her drawl.  But it's like a long forgotten melody that you had forgotten you loved.

Then there are all the voices of my fathers relations.

My grandfather spoke with a short clip of a grunt.  It was soft and gutteral at the same time.  Not unpleasing at all, though we had forgotten it and it is sort of difficult to describe.

My grandmother spoke with a soft melodic country tone to her voice.  Like rose petals mixed with dark black earth.  While they both had their own diphthongs, they didn't sound very country compared to my sister or I.

My aunt spoke with a high, clear, sweet voice.  She also looked like an adorable faerie creature.  Which made the experience sad to watch because she was so beautiful and real and magical, but she didn't think so.

Even her ex husband, the yankee from Pennsylvania, was there.  His voice is sort of reminiscent of Ernie from Sesame Street.  A little thin, a little deep, but jovial and nice all the same.  

My cousin, however, does sound a little like my sister and I.  He's smack dab in between us, age wise.  You can hear him exclaim such things as "Ahm noooo angel."  and "Imma shoot sum CRAckurs!"  

Look at all that sass on the right side of this photo!

I'm not even sure when my sister and I lost our "southerness".  I have been given a quizzical look many a time, with an added, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"  When I tell them I was born and raised here, they look taken aback and exclaim, "Why I thought you from out west (up north)."

But, if I go out west or up north they know I'm not from their area.  Some agree with the south, but most are as taken aback as my southern counterparts, thinking it's incredulous that I would be from the south.  I must have a strange accent, indeed!  

My sass went somewhere weird too, but I've still got it!